Michael Kaye '14 is rewriting the message in gay dating. As director of brand marketing and communications at Archer, a dating app for gay, bisexual and queer men, his work is deeply personal. If Archer had been around 10 years ago, it could have changed his life.

Kaye says that in 2014, he "was petrified to come out." After downloading one of the major gay dating apps at the time, he was met with a sea of blank profiles and torso-only photos. “I was still in the closet, I was looking for my community, for a safe space. And when I turned to the biggest platform for gay men, I felt like it was reinforcing this idea that queer love and connection should remain hidden.”

Archer is different by design. Launched in 2023, the app is the digital safe space Kaye was searching for a decade ago. As a lead member of its development team, he made sure of it. Archer goes beyond hookups and relationships; it’s a celebratory space that blends the world of dating with community building.  

Users log on to find a Health Hub, which offers expert advice from other queer men on topics related to dating and sexual and mental health. There are also safety resources, links to LGBTQ support services and, most importantly, faces. “Every profile is selfie verified,” explains Kaye. No anonymous torso photos.  “On Archer, you have to show your face. When you open the app, all you see are faces,” he says.  

In a candid interview, Kaye shares his passion for his work and why he’s a vocal advocate for the LGBTQ community. He opens up about his journey in overcoming the internalized homophobia that made coming out so terrifying for him.

Allies

Growing up, Kaye’s parents were his biggest cheerleaders. “My boyfriend thinks they talk me up way too much,” he jokes. Kaye was adopted by his maternal grandparents as a child but considers them mom and dad.  Whatever his interests were, his parents made sure he could pursue them. “When I was a little kid, I wanted to act. And they immediately took me for headshots and let me go to an audition,” he remembers. Drum and singing lessons followed. When he joined a soccer team, they came to every game. “They've always made me feel like the sky is the limit with anything I wanted to do.”

School was their main priority though. Kaye is a first-generation college graduate, and his parents did everything they could to lay a path to university in front of him. Senior year in high school, they encouraged him to apply to UAlbany. “They thought Albany was an incredible school. I actually got waitlisted, and my dad wrote a long letter about how much he believes in me, and he sent it to admissions,” Kaye says, only learning of his father’s quiet but powerful gesture last year.  

He was eventually accepted, assigned a dorm room in Mohawk Tower, and immediately met the people who would become his chosen family. “We were random roommates and we're all still best friends to this day,” he says.  

Those best friends knew something about Kaye that he did not. “I found out a couple of years ago that [during] our freshman year, they had a group conversation that I was not a part of. And it was mentioned, ‘Michael is gay. We recognize that. He clearly does not recognize that yet. But whatever happens over these next four years, we have to protect him at all costs,’” Kaye says, choking back emotion.

With the support of this core group, Kaye thrived at UAlbany. He explains, “I loved studying anything related to people, how they think, how they interact, how they communicate. So, I ended up majoring in communication, minoring in sociology.”  

He excelled in the classroom but says what really positioned him for career success after graduation was the Communication Department’s regular internship opportunity emails. “I applied to every single one that went out, graduated with probably 10 internships done, and that helped me figure out what was interesting to me.”  

Through his experience interning at an agency in downtown Albany now called Mower, Kaye found his footing in the world of public relations. He walked across the stage at his 2014 commencement and stepped right into a career with a swiftly moving trajectory to the top of his field.

True Colors

By the time he graduated, Kaye knew he was gay. He moved to New York City and despite his initial alienating experience with online dating, he met the man he is still in a relationship with today. He was ready to be open about his sexuality, but describes his “coming out moment” as not much of a moment. “I felt super awkward and uncomfortable about the whole experience,” he says, deciding it wasn’t necessary to present himself in a staged reveal.

So, that summer, over dinner with a close aunt, he casually asked if she wanted to see who he was dating. He showed her his boyfriend’s picture, left that weekend to visit him at SUNY Cortland and by Monday she had delivered the news for him to his entire family. He then posted the picture on Facebook and called it a day.  

“After coming out of the closet, I was very fortunate that it did not change my relationships with any family members or friends,” says Kaye. He went on with his life, earning an MA in strategic communication and advancing in his career.

But after a couple of years, he realized that acceptance is a privilege not everyone enjoys. He took a step back and said, “even though I might not be fully comfortable with my identity yet, fully proud of who I am, I need to do something for this community. I need to find a way to make a difference.”

Kaye contacted the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest LGBTQ advocacy organization in the U.S., and got connected with his local chapter. “I became a digital communications volunteer because that's what I knew. I knew social media,” he says. Within a year he joined the steering committee and then went on to serve on the organization’s board of governors.  

For decades, HRC was at the forefront of the fight for marriage equality. In 2015, the organization celebrated the Supreme Court’s ruling to legalize same-sex marriage in all 50 states, but Kaye still found plenty of work to be done. Public opinion on the issue varied, and he met many individuals who were still struggling to be open about their identity. “I was on the board with people in their 50s and 60s who could not come out at their workplace. But I also got to meet teenagers who had never even been in the closet,” he describes.

Inspired by Gen Z’s unabashed pride and outspokenness on social media, Kaye decided it was time to get loud himself. With a sizeable following of his own, he started using his personal platform to bring attention to LGBTQ concerns. “The opportunity I had to raise awareness for this community surpassed issues I was having with internalized homophobia and dealing with my own identity,” he explains.  

Sharing his private journey was a huge step toward self-acceptance and became an inspiration for others. “Embracing queer culture has expanded my network and enriched my life,” he writes in a public blog post.

It Gets Better

In 2019 Kaye got the chance to pair his volunteer advocacy with his professional goals when he joined the Match Group as a PR manager for the dating app OKCupid. He “fell in love” (pun intended) with the brand's commitment to progress.  “I found a total alignment with my personal views,” he says, explaining that OkCupid was the first major dating app to expand gender and orientation options, introduce a pronouns feature and have dating preference questions specifically for LGBTQ users.

The job was an ideal fit for Kaye and quickly led to a promotion. As the new director of global communications for OKCupid, he was tasked with managing the app’s commercial launch in Australia, Germany, the United Kingdom, Israel and Turkey. “It's really interesting to see how we take our messaging and branding to different markets that are more conservative or not as LGBTQ-friendly while still remaining true to our brand,” he says.

When in 2022 it became apparent to OKCupid that there was appetite for innovation in the dating app landscape for gay men, Kaye was perfectly positioned to join its development team. Archer was announced during Pride Month 2023 with a launch in New York City a few weeks later. A national rollout was planned for summer 2024 but Kaye says, “due to an influx of messages and emails from people saying, ‘I need this in my city, I need an app like this,’ we opened it up nationally nearly a year ahead of schedule.”

With more than 750,000 downloads in its first year, Archer hit its target.  

Taking Pride

In his current role, Kaye oversees Archer’s influencer marketing, social media, events, public relations and corporate partnerships. He’s been named one of PRWeek’s 40 under 40 and regularly shares his insights as a guest on TV newscasts, podcasts and special event panels. He also teaches on the faculty of NYU’s Department of Media, Culture, and Communication. You can find him drinking coffee and advocating for what he believes in on Instagram @michaelkayepr.

When asked what relationship wisdom he has garnered over the years he says, “This goes for platonic, romantic and professional – any kind of relationship. Lead with authenticity and it's going to really, really benefit you.”