When new wave crashed into surf rock in 1980 and spawned the radio single I Wanna Be a Lifeguard — whose iconic video was among the first to debut on MTV — few listeners would have placed its origins in upstate New York. Fewer still might have known that the song’s creators, a band called Blotto, traces its beginnings to the University at Albany.

“I met Sarge (Greg Haymes ’72) at the first open audition they had in the theater, and we were in a play together, Viet Rock,” recalls Bill Polchinski ’72. “The following spring, they did Peter Pan, a big production. Sarge and I were pirates,” he laughs, “…and we were terrible.”  

Fans forever associate Polchinski, Haymes, Paul Rapp ’77 and Paul Jossman ’86, (known respectively by their stage names Broadway Blotto, Sergeant Blotto, Lee Harvey Blotto and Bowtie Blotto) with beach antics and a lead singer (Haymes) sporting sunscreen on his nose. A mainstay of the Albany music scene in the early '80s, Blotto is one of the most successful rock acts to emerge from the Capital District, with several singles achieving national radio play and earning regular rotation on MTV with their quirky, offbeat music videos.  

When I Wanna Be a Lifeguard debuted on MTV’s first day of existence, it was the 36^th video to air (sandwiched between Iron Maiden and Rod Stewart) and it launched the band into a new level of stardom.

“When it hit it was just a blast,” says Rapp, who majored in economics at UAlbany and is now an intellectual property lawyer. “We’d go down and do interviews with [MTV VJ] Martha Quinn, who was from Troy.”  

The only catch was that that MTV wasn’t yet available in Albany. “I had to go to a friend’s in East Greenbush and wait for Lifeguard to come on,” laughs Rapp.  

Talking with members of the band now, they are animated, engaging and endlessly enthusiastic to discuss all things Blotto. More like siblings than bandmates, they relentlessly poke fun at one other and change subjects at a frenetic pace. A Blotto interview can shift topics without warning — from the history of the band, to AI use in medical imaging, to analyzing classic R. Crumb comics.

Most apparent is their affection for each other — and for Blotto. “We finish each others’ sentences, we always kind of have,” says Rapp. “We’re just on this wavelength, you know? Most bands have that; they have their own internal language and their little ‘in’ jokes. We had more than most, I think.”

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The Blotto story begins with the Star Spangled Washboard Band, a comedic bluegrass group formed at UAlbany in the early '70s by Polchinski, Jossman and Haymes, that blended music with protracted, vaudevillian comedy bits. The band toured throughout the '70s, earning a loyal following and appearing twice on The Mike Douglas show (where Jossman planted a kiss on Phyllis Diller).  

Rapp had seen the band perform and was enthralled with their dynamic blend of music and comedy. But it wasn’t until a chance meeting with Haymes outside a Central Avenue record store, where Rapp was posting a flyer seeking bandmates, that their relationship would form.  

“I’ll be in your band!” Rapp fondly recalls Haymes announcing to him before they had even exchanged names.  

When the Star Spangled Washboard Band called it quits, Blotto formed from a series of informal gigs that eventually included drummer Rapp, as well as bass player Keith (“Cheese Blotto”) Stephenson. Trading banjos and washboards for electric guitars and drums, they embraced a more modern sound that blended rock, R&B and soul with a new wave sensibility and their trademark comedy stylings. They quickly earned a regional following with energetic performances and catchy songs.  

Without a record label to support them, the band created “Blotto Records” and did their own promotion, including sending their records to any radio station they thought might play them. Their hard work paid off when I Wanna Be a Lifeguard began getting radio play in New York City and beyond in 1980. It was the advent of music television in 1981 that would give the Blotto their big break.  

The I Wanna Be a Lifeguard video began as a class project proposed by two film students, Tom Gliserman and Dave Lefebvre, who, according to Rapp, approached Blotto with the idea of shooting a music video. The band’s only question was, “How much will it cost us?” When the answer was “nothing,” Blotto was in.  

Filming took place locally at spots including Million Dollar Beach in Lake George, a shoe store on Wolf Road, a storefront on Central Avenue, and an escalator under The Egg at the Empire State Plaza. Live performance footage of the band was recorded at the famed Albany music venue J.B. Scott’s. And when the video went into regular rotation on MTV, a national audience discovered Blotto.

"In ’81, the whole video thing happened with Tom and Dave and all of a sudden we’re getting fan mail from all over the country," Rapp recalls. "We were playing well, we were confident, and we knew we were funny.”

Blotto continued to tour and record over the next few years, releasing multiple records and creating more music video staples for MTV, including Metalhead, a collaboration with Blue Öyster Cult frontman Buck Dharma. Dharma was a fan of their music, and a chance encounter led to him producing and contributing the guitar solo on the heavy metal parody. Dharma also appears in the Metalhead video which featured members of the Hell’s Angels riding through the campus of Union College and Haymes dramatically biting the head off a plush toy.

Even with the band's newfound fame, there were moments when they found themselves starstruck, Rapp recalls: “We walked into [Long Island radio station] WBAB to do an interview and Billy Joel was sitting there and he goes, ‘BLOTTO!’ We played with Todd Rundgren and used his video studio in Bearsville. We played a couple of shows with The Tubes and they were a huge influence on us.” Cyndi Lauper announced she was a fan, and the band proudly notes that acts such as They Might Be Giants and Beastie Boys have cited Blotto as an influence.  

Much of that influence stems from the band’s infusion of comedy into their music. Song titles such as My Baby’s the Star of a Driver’s Ed Movie barely scratch the surface of Blotto irreverence, and the band regularly encouraged fans to get in on the fun. “We would have theme shows,” says Rapp. “Blotto Prom, Beach Blanket Blotto where everyone would show up in bathing suits, and of course Blottoween, which became a season.”

Of the band’s creative approach, Rapp says simply, “Something was either Blotto or not Blotto. There was no such thing as too stupid; but sometimes things could be funny but not Blotto funny, and that was kind of our guiding principle.”

The comedy was also a double-edged sword, according to Polchinski, who points to difficulties securing a record deal. “They couldn’t pigeonhole us, the record companies. Too funny to be musical, too musical to be funny. We just did what we did. Whatever we spent eight hours joking about in the van on the way to the gig, we just transferred it onto the stage.”  

Unfortunately, economic realities would lead to Blotto's demise as a full-time touring band by the mid-'80s. “When the drinking age moved to 21, that was the unraveling of the band,” Rapp explains. “Our bread and butter was clubs and the bottom fell out. Clubs closed, college gigs disappeared altogether.”

While Blotto performed sporadically over the years and evolved through several lineup changes, its core members pursued more stable vocations. Rapp earned a law degree (eventually changing his stage name to F. Lee Harvey Blotto, a nod to famous attorney F. Lee Bailey). Jossman attained a master’s degree in computer science at UAlbany and went on to work at video game creator Vicarious Visions, among other companies. Polchinski taught at his high school before earning a master’s in social work and working in schools, not-for-profit clinics, private practice, and state hospitals as a psychotherapist. And Haymes remained a prolific figure in the Albany music scene as an artist, music writer, and founder of the website Nippertown.com. He died in 2019 after a battle with cancer.

The surviving members of Blotto continue to play music, but agree a reunion is unlikely, mainly due to the absence of their theatrical frontman, Sarge.

“Everything he did, every nanosecond on stage was purposeful with him. Just his presence … you couldn’t keep your eyes off him,” Polchinski says of Haymes. “He was a really beloved character.”

While there may never be another performance by the band, that doesn’t mean Blotto fans have nothing to look forward to: A Blotto documentary is in the works.

When asked about the band's legacy, members are quick to point out that the last thing on their minds when they were an active band was how they would be remembered 40 years later. The experience of making music with their best friends and seeing how happy it made people was what it was all about for them.  

“I started playing in high school and all I wanted to do was play in a band, and I got to do it for quite a while,” says Jossman. “Eventually I had to get a real job, got married and had a family, stuff like that. But I got to do it. It was pretty cool.”

And then, in distinctly Blotto fashion, he laughs and adds with an impish smile, “And I lived to tell the story, and I fooled ’em, and they still haven’t caught up.”

Discover more Blotto and other alums in the industry profiled in our UAlbany Magazine Music Mini!

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*Correction 8/13/24 - An earlier version of this story incorrectly named Thomas Gliserman as "Gary."